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Have you ever received the great advice, “just relax… there’s nothing to worry about…”?

If I could, I’m pretty sure I would have.
I have expertly trained my mind to worry.

So, when I think of relaxing, I think, “easy…”
Unfortunately, when I have time in my schedule, I’ve fallen into the myth that relaxing should come naturally. And, it doesn’t. It takes an active approach to recharge from a long day, week, month, or year.

I’ve started to differentiate between passive and active recharging.

Passive recharging falls into the activities that don’t require a whole lot of planning or energy, i.e., sleep, watching a tv show or movie, listening to music, etc. These are activities that are needed to just shut my brain off and have some space to do nothing.

Active recharging requires an energy cost. Think about exercising or engaging with a hobby you’ve been putting off to “not having enough time.” It requires planning and engagement. A barrier can be an automatic thought, such as, “I’m too tired… I don’t want to spend more energy.” But, this can be an unfounded thinking trap! I often forget about how energized I feel after going on a walk after a long day.

The goal: balance. ‍

Too much passive recharging and I feel groggy and even more fatigued after a day of binging shows and movies. Too much active recharging and I feel exhausted. So, experiment! Scale your energy levels, feeling of accomplishment, and pleasure/enjoyment before and after the activity to get more helpful information. Start off with a small, short, low cost event, then build up from there! For example:

     Activity:

     Energy levels before (0: no energy; 10: energized):
     Energy levels after (0: no energy; 10: energized):

     Feeling accomplished before (0: none; 10: very accomplished):
     Feeling accomplished after (0: none; 10: very accomplished):

     Feelings of pleasure before (0: none; 10: very enjoyable):
     Feelings of pleasure after (0: none; 10: very enjoyable):

If you suffer from perfectionism, it is okay to experiment and find something fun! Reminder: you can’t get it perfect the first time. Have fun. Treat this like a video game boss or an experiment. Find what works for you.

Recommendations:

     1. Create a list of both passive and active recharging activities

     2. Have an accountability partner

     3. Start off small (e.g., one 10-minute activity every other day)

     4. Track your progress and note anything learned from these activities

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Link to free handout:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GNmL1Zr0g-wTnnkkzbhMJsgWYdGENSUy/view?usp=sharing